A Season of Doubt

I've been going through a season of doubt. Doubting the homestead, doubting this way of life, and doubting myself. I've had several blog posts written, and while they held a kernel of the truth, I tried to end them all on a positive note that just wasn't truthful for me at that moment. So, here's the honest truth. Homesteading sucks right now. Hurt goats, dying chicks, garden overtaken by weeds, broken water heater, my vehicle making unidentifiable sounds, and some very nasty meat birds that I wish I hadn't gotten. On top of that we went from torrential rain and flooding to blistering heat and humidity. I have a lot of doubts and a few regrets going through my head at the moment.

Doubts-Can I keep up this lifestyle? Am I cut out for this homestead life? Am I doing a good enough job? Why am I not doing better? Why doesn't my homestead look like the ones I see all over the internet?

Regrets-1. Never buy the Cornish Cross meat birds! Worst decision ever.2. I should have made more nesting boxes when we built the coop. 4 was just fine when I had 15 hens. Not as fine when I have 27 hens. And completely unmanageable when I have 7 broody hens.

Here's the thing, I'm finally starting to see through the fog of doubts and trying to act on the regrets. The doubts will always be there. But I can stop the comparisons that fuel the doubts. And the regrets can be fixed. I have already cancelled my next Cornish Cross order because I’ll never buy those birds again (click here for my blog post on McMurray, Big Red Broilers vs Cornish Cross). Thankfully, they had some hatch dates for ginger broilers, so I ordered those. 

Not having enough nesting boxes has been temporarily fixed with a few milk crates until this heat lets up and we can build something more permanent. I started this blog to share not only the good, but the bad and ugly (and stinky Cornish Cross) too. My homestead isn't picture perfect. I've had a lot go wrong, but I've also had a lot go right. I was focusing on the things that had gone wrong and let the doubts get so loud I stopped trying to move forward. Slowly but surely, I'm moving forward again. My husband has started building a mobile hoop coop so check back for our adventure/tutorial on that! Now enjoy this pic of my daughter's 4-H showmanship chick!!

Meet Sweet Pea, my daughter's 4-H showmanship chick